Esmeralda* had a rocky childhood. By her teenage years, she was angry and self-destructive. She found ways to numb herself with drugs and unhealthy relationships. When she found out she was pregnant she was overwhelmed with fear and uncertainty. “I couldn’t see myself as a good person, let alone a mother.” During her pregnancy, Esmeralda stayed with her uncle who is a committed Christian. He would talk to her about the Lord Jesus, and he often had worship music playing in the home.
One day, out of habit, she was on her way to meet with her drug dealer. She says God stopped her in her tracks. “It felt like I was in cement. I stopped where I was and cried out to God, I can’t do this anymore! I don’t know how to believe that you love me!” She says in that moment she experienced God’s presence for the first time.
That day, instead of getting high, she went to detox and rehab. She started pursuing God by meeting with a pastor, reading scripture and going to Bible studies. After having her son, though, she fell into old patterns. Her new baby was removed from her care.
“I knew I had to move forward or I was going to lose everything,” Esmeralda said. She decided she would do everything she could to get her son back. She cooperated with the Department of Child Safety (DCS) and found resources like the New Life Transitional Program. Through her work to get her life back together, Esmeralda found a job and housing and she eventually got her son back!
Esmeralda will now tell you that she has good and bad days. She says on the bad days she has to give herself permission to feel and work through it. Her son and her growing relationship with the Lord are her motivation to keep moving forward, one step at a time.